Angel Babies

2010-03-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

http://www.morganswonderland.com/
this is where we want to take josie and the rest of the kids for josies Make-A-Wish. we just found out that she was granted a wish. we are waiting for them to come here to talk with us about it. Morgans Wonderland is an awesome amusement park in San Antonio, TX for people with kids with disabilities. how cool is that!

MATTHEW IS FINAL

2010-02-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

We joyfully finalized Matthew's adoption on 2-8-10!!!! so happy that he is finally fully ours and he is happy too! i will post pictures when we finally get our computer back at home. a small person who shall remain un named =) wiped out our system. we should be up and running next week and then i can post pics from home (im at work right now....shhh!)

bipolar disorder

2010-02-12T10:48:00.000-08:00

aside from josie's multiple special needs and recent scares we are also dealing with a child that has bi-polar disorder. this disorder is obviously very hard to deal with for the person that has it, but also for the people around them. whats hard as the parent of the child with bipolar disorder is that #1 you love this child and would do anything for them #2 you see it all the good, the bad, the up, the down. and if such and such sees the good, creative, energetic side they may look at you like you have 3 heads or that there is something wrong with you (the parent) when you talk about the other side (tantrums, destructive behavior, manic out of control behavior). or conversely those that have only seen the negative behaviors may see the child as 'bad' or that as parents we must be doing something wrong. or the ever frustrating dismissive phrase 'oh thats just being a kid' anyways, if anyone out there is dealing with a child that has bipolar disorder, i understand.

josie update

2010-02-07T16:05:00.000-08:00

we are now dealing with swollen lymph nodes in josies neck and groin and dont know why. =( im scared. her blood work doesnt really doesnt show any infection so that makes me wonder if there is a scarier reason for the swollen glands and bloody emesis. say a prayer for my girl.

Vomiting blood

2010-01-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

josie has recently had a problem with vomiting blood (which even though i am a nurse it is a whole other ball game to see blood coming out of your childs mouth) she has been hospitalized twice and we are waiting for an appointment with the GI specialist at Riley hospital. she is so fragile and her health needs are so complicated. but when i feel panicky i just hold her and look at her beautiful eyes and precious smile and remember why we do what we do...

LOCS!

2009-11-18T20:32:00.000-08:00

putting locs in josie's hair! they are looking so cute! will post a picture when we are done!

sometimes its hard

2009-07-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

when you are dealing with multiple special needs of varying degrees. you want to include everyone, but also dont want to hold anyone back. its a balancing act. we took all of the kids to a waterpark and amusement park last year but josie did NOT have a good time. it was hot, really hot. loud noises cause her to spasm, being splashed by water caused her to spasm. we were concerned about her bag for her feeding tube with food in it out in the heat. it was a lot of lifting in and out of her wheelchair for us (which would have totally been worth it if she was having fun). so this year we made the decision for her to stay home with ryan while isaiah and i took the rest of the kids. i felt soooooo guilty about it. i agonized....i even cried. but in the end i shouldnt have. i was able to devote my attention to matthew, nilam, anya, and aiden and they had soooooo much fun. and josie got individual attention from daddy and got to do her favorite thing.....watching movies! it worked a lot better than trying to include everyone just on principle and not on the facts and what everyone is able to enjoy. i also had tremendous guilt about cutting josie's hair really short. her hair needed to be kept in braids or it tangled or matted, but the braids and barettes were making her head sore because she can not hold her head up. oh i agonized once more. terribly, and cried.....again. but she loved it. smiled and smiled. it must have been freeing for her! and thats why its called having 'special needs' because you cant have a cookie cutter life with having family members with special needs. so i am letting go of the guilt and embracing the fact that we do the best that we can for our very special kids.

facebook

2009-07-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

i have become a facebook junkie! which has left this poor blog neglected. if anyone is still out there let me know! otherwise look me up on f.b.!

josies last visit to cp clinic

2009-05-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

it went well!! she got knew hand orthotics made (and she actually likes them which is a plus!) and they were amazed that she has grown 6 inches and gained 20 pounds in a year and a half....i too find it incredible but we have seen it with our own eyes. she was not growing because of malnutrition when she was in africa and also because she had not been diagnosed with her distal renal tubular acidosis. she has been treated for that now and it has allowed AWESOME growth. her kidneys were not removing the acid from her blood making her Ph be too acidic. too buffer that acidity it would leech calcium from her bones (kind of like tums with calcium neutralizes stomach acid) making them severely osteopenic which is why she had a fractured tibia from no trauma. now she is being treated with bi citra and is doing well!!! she is also holding her head up better and has more trunk strength. she can not sit unassisted, but any gain is HUGE in our eyes for our sweet baby girl. she continues to get 4 cans of pediasure by gtube with a Zevex infinity pump. we do range of motion and also apply braces for stretches for her legs and arms. we are still afraid of her fragility so we are not aggressive with her therapy because we dont want her to go through the pain of another fracture. she recently had her 5th birthday and she actually can grab her birthday balloon.....THIS IS HUGE FOR HER!! YAY!!!!

six kids=drastic need for organization!

2009-04-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

made new schedule for homeschool and kids care. it is implemented TOMORROW!! we will see how well i stick to it! schedules and home organization are my goals!! having a large family and multiple special needs does require some element of 'go with the flow' but also is calling for order and planning (which are not my forte but are rapidly climbing on my list of priorities=)
i wont bore you with the details, but will say that im really excited about this.

my muddy kids =)

2009-04-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

check out anya's mudboots! she loves them! our little buddy matthew is fitting right in with the crew!

good buddies~aiden and matthew~

2009-04-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

my life

2009-04-17T00:17:00.000-07:00

finding your nest in a mess of a complex family dynamic
finding your peace in utter chaos while people are watching
being a friend, a sister, and lover
being hated, loved, cherished, a mother
being the glue that holds it all together
couldnt do it without the grace of the Father

~rachel

beautiful boy~ matthew

2009-04-16T15:39:00.000-07:00

endocrinology appointment

2009-04-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

josie has an endocrinology appointment tomorrow about 3 1/2 hours away at our childrens hospital. hoping good we will hear all good news!

Our new little guy =)

2009-04-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

im with my boy!

2009-03-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

he is so sweet! loves to play with legos (thanks elaine!) and his foster family is incredible (cant thank you enough guys!!!!) im looking forward to getting back home and seeing the other kiddos and especially daddy. he is doing a great job at home while im gone) will post pictures when im home and he is settled. nite nite, rachel

trip to children's hospital

2009-03-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

anya and aiden went to cp clinic..... good news about hips..both of their hips are in alignment! aiden's had been coming out of the socket but surgeon says his prior adductor surgery fixed that problem! aiden does need botox injections in his hamstring and calves. =( but they said it will help his gait a lot.

josie also saw her nephrologist and no new kidney stones and all her levels are good!! no change in medicines either. and her follow up appt is 6 mos. now instead of every 3 since she is so stable. this is such good news.... go baby girl!!

getting ready to go meet matthew this saturday. im so excited!!!!!!!

my matthew

2009-03-19T23:08:00.000-07:00

will he like me?
will he be scared?
will he know how much i already love him and want him to be in our family?
will he like to help his daddy in the garden?
will he like our animals?
will he be happy to meet his brothers and sisters?
matthew, cant wait until your home.... love, mama

more pictures from the mall

2009-03-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

josie, anya, nilam, and aiden

isaiah had a headache and didnt feel like being in the picture

Thank God for loving foster parents

2009-03-13T21:47:00.001-07:00

as we draw nearer to the time our precious boy will be coming home i am getting more and more excited. but our excitement also means sadness to the foster family that will be telling him goodbye. we are thankful that they have loved him unselfishly and are preparing him for the transition, even as they are grieving. Thank you God for his foster parents and please be with Matthew as he transitions to our home and being a part of his forever family, his foster parents as they say goodbye, and our entire family as we gain a family member. Our second oldest son is coming home soon!!

3/31/09 end the R word

2009-03-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGvppz_OZbA
an amazing video of actor john c. mcginley, of 'Scrubs' fame. mr. mcginley has a eleven year old son that has down syndrome. this video is about his quest to end the use of the words 'retard' and 'retarded' as derogatory terms in every day conversation.

so on 3/31/09 please help spread the word, developmentally disabled people are just that- they are people, with feelings
please do unto others as you would have them do to you.
dont call names.

fun at the carousel for nilams birthday

2009-03-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

we are looking forward to a new family member

2009-03-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

we are in the process to adopt a beautiful 8 year old boy. things are progressing quickly and im going to be visiting with him at the end of the month. soooo excited

a delayed birthday...but excitement building

2009-03-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

we have all been sick one after the other so nilam and my birthday's werent celebrated except with doses of decongestants and tylenol. thankfully everyone is finally on the mend. we will be having nilams bday party at chuck e. cheese this week and she has requested to go to build-a-bear workshop...should be great fun!! will post pictures later this week!

pray for garett

2009-03-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

my friend jennifer and her husband gary are having a very difficult time as their son garett has taken a turn for the worst due to his brain cancer. please remember them in your prayers

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/garettchanley

josie

2009-03-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

we have had a relatively stable year with josie's health. only one hospitalization when her cold when into pneumonia and she couldnt hold her seizure and kidney medicines down. she has had good nutrition since getting her feeding tube and has GROWN a huge amount! the lab even called to verify her height and weight because it was so much greater than it was during her last 24 hour urine test for her kidneys.

we are going to try to kick up her therapy a notch and im currently researching standers for kids with cp. if any one happens by and has a recommendation on standers feel free to leave a note. her cp clinic visit is in april. just wanted to be prepared =)

my head feels like it has an axe in it

2009-02-27T18:00:00.000-08:00

i finally have to admit that i am really really sick. it hit me with extreme shivering with severe headache and then a fever that went up to 104 degrees...ack.. i had to call in sick to work and my husband bought take out pizza to feed our masses of kiddos wondering what the heck happened to their mama who has been replaced with a pale, zombie that sleeps most of the day but holds her head like no tomorrow when she is up. heres hoping that tomorrow is a better day.

2009-02-23T16:15:00.000-08:00

hello out there. this blog is a great venue for sharing cute kid pics! but today im going to use it to vent a little. we have all been sick with this virusy thing...snot, fever, diarrhea, etc.. josie's went into pneumonia. she is medically fragile and a little thing can become a big thing really quickly. she was in the hospital for 4 days. now i have whatever this is and my joints ache, my head hurts, im tired but still i am mom. hubby has been helping but phew....im at my wits end. i put everyone to bed early, but just in the last 5 minutes of me typing this 3 of the 5 kids have whined/screamed at panic level for relatively minor things ie: one couldnt find matching pajama shirt, the other couldnt find leapster game (never mind the fact she was supposed to be in bed, not playing her leapster)....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh calgon take me away. the whining is slowly receding in decibles....maybe there's hope...
but as i sit and rock josie back and forth as im typing this post, my mind wonders to fellow mamas of kids with special needs that have recently had to bury their babies. when put into that kind of perspective i'll take my whiny, snotty, diarrheay day any time. to those that have lost your babies, im so sorry. my heart goes out to you, i cant imagine the pain of losing a child whose care has consumed your days and then all of a sudden they are gone.

josie is 4. the life expectancy we were given is no more than 10. we will enjoy every day (even the pukey whiny ones) and hope that her doctors are wrong.

aiden smurf =)

2009-02-18T18:35:00.000-08:00

happy girl

2009-02-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

lil buddies

2009-02-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

angel girl, my josie

2009-02-09T19:23:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY ANYA MAE YOUN SOO!!!!!!!!

2009-01-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas 2008 Thank you Lord for your blessings!

2008-12-25T20:32:00.000-08:00

FINAL!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-10T17:12:00.000-08:00

sorry for the hiatus

2008-12-05T07:54:00.000-08:00

things been a little crazy around here. nilam got her 7 teeth pulled in one day! she cried during the procedure but overall did very well. we had an awesome thanksgiving, which i am so thankful for because it was the last one we will ever have with my grandfather. he loved my kids so much and was so cute in playing with them on thanksgiving. we buried him yesterday with full military rites. i love you grandpa. thank you for always loving me and smiling that beautiful smile that was so big that it made your eyes disappear. im glad you are not hurting any more. i imagine you sitting at the feet of our Lord smiling and rejoicing........ see you in heaven one of these days. kisses and hugs, rachel

Good news and bad news for nilam

2008-10-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

Good news is WE FINALLY HAVE AN ADOPTION FINALIZATION DATE!!!! DECEMBER 10TH WOOHOO!!!

bad news is she has to have SEVEN, yes you read right, SEVEN teeth pulled. She is recovering from psychosocial dwarfism and was very tiny when she came. actually the size of a two year old at age 6 1/2. Since then she has grown 6 1/2 inches and because she has grown her baby teeth have started coming out and the teeth that are coming in are HUGE and there is not enough room in her mouth for them. we have to make an appointment after one week to have them pulled. not sure if he will pull them all at one time or if it would be better to do half one day and half another....ugh... and he says that orthodontia is definately in our future...fun, fun, fun. good thing my insurance covers a whopping $1000 in orthodontics....that only leaves what $4000?

poor nilam is so NOT looking forward to having 7 teeth pulled, but she IS looking forward to having her name changed and becoming a legal, permanent member of our family and we are looking forward to it too!!!!

for my girls

2008-10-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

just ordered this bedset for my girly girls. cant wait for it to come in!

how was your day?

2008-10-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

mine was ok. tomorrow should be interesting, aiden has O.T. and nilam has a dentist appointment at the exact same time! (there was only one dental opening and she is due again) so daddy and I will divide and conquer!

i personally have to get myself out of this weird sleep cycle i am from working evening shifts. so im going to try to go to bed at a decent hour starting tonight...well its already 11:00pm maybe tomorrow night.... but hey its not 1:00 am!

the kids are doing good. aiden is doing really well homeschooling. he is like a different kid. he and anya will be going to riley cp clinic in december for the first time. we have had pretty good results there with josie and it would be great to have everybody going to same place instead of some to st. louis and some to indy.... so indy it is! we do appreciate the surgery shriner's did for aiden though. he would not be walking without it. we wouldnt be switching except that there are specialists at riley that shriners doesnt have that josie HAS to see so everyone else has to switch there.

i also just want to say that i am so thankful for my family. i couldnt imagine my life without any one of them. i feel truly blessed.

To Melodie:

2008-09-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

~A big grin from josie chea~

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

2008-09-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

after not having power for 4 days due to high winds (from ike? we are in indiana??) it has been a challenge but the Lord has been faithful. the kids had fun "camping" at home.

also we had a very encouraging visit to Josie's nephrologist. she doesnt have any more kidney stones. she had been having more every time but now that she has been diagnosed with dRTA and is receiving the appropriate treatment everything seems to be stabilizing! we are so relieved. it took a lot to get here over this past year. but she looks good....so good and i am going to enjoy that right now. she is at risk for complications but i am not going to focus on those. the doc praised us for doing so well with her many times. it was a little embarassing but really felt good too. we also had very positive interaction with josie's nurse patty, who is african american. she really took an interest in josie. this gave me a lot of peace. it is truly up to each individual how they choose to treat others (myself included). and we want to give a big shout out to nurse patty HEY NURSE PATTY!! thank you for being so sweet to our baby girl and to us (sorry aiden spilled his bug juice at your nurses station....oops...)

we also received word that we may finalize nilam's adoption too. great news!! she yelled WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO when we told her. she is also excited that she has learned to spell her new last name (wont type it hear but its very long!) she has been using it all along, but knows it will now be official. she is doing very well in reading and math. still having some trouble in the attention span department but it has improved a lot too. overall she is doing GREAT!

aiden is now homeschooling.

anya is doing well in her class!

big bro isaiah is currently making straight A's!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!

also, all apologies if my last post sounded whiny. i just want our kids to have positive relationships with people of their birth culture and its a difficult situation some times. again, its all individual choice.

Some thoughts on international adoption of children with special needs

2008-09-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

As the parents of children from different countries and different races myself that have varying degrees of special needs we have had some unique experiences. If you are considering International Adoption and/ or the adoption of a child with special needs these are some things you may want to consider.

We have three children with cerebral palsy, which is technically a brain injury that effects the extremities and/or faculties of the person. Our kids are dealing with speech delay/developmental delay, seizures, behavioral difficulties, high tone, low tone. Many of these things require daily medicines to control.

There are cultural aspects to consider as well. We have had support from people of all races as well as rude comments/stares and downright hostility from people of all races. It's not just being a mommy or a daddy, there is unfortunately dealing with the politics of it all. (Although protecting our children is a huge part of this)

There are hair and skin care responsibilities to be learned that are different from my own. There is respect of my children's culture, but also dealing with hurtful comments from said culture.

There is the issue of dealing of past maltreatment of your child. You had nothing to do with that, but on the day your child enters your home, they are the sum of their experiences up until that point. It is our responsibility to help our children deal with any trauma that may have occured in their past and try to decrease the impact of it. Accepting and loving while creating structure and boundaries has been the key.

We dont have all the answers for sure. Still trying to figure it all out. Just taking one day at a time and resting in the knowledge that we are all God's creation that were fearfully and wonderfully made. He loves us all equally (is not a respecter of men) and that we should all be trying to help each other. But I do acknowlege that historically there have been evil white people who have abused people of color. For this I am deeply sorrowful, although I have not personally had a hand in it. And I dont know how to reconcile it. How do you apologize for something that you yourself did not do. Is it pertinent to today? Reading blogs of people of color has shown me that it is. People are still being slighted every day, for nothing more than the color of their skin. I have had the unfortunate experience of going into an ethnic hair salon and was given icy and dismissing looks when i tried to strike up conversations about little girl hair care. was it me personally? was it my color (or lack there of)? was it both? was it the fact that i had the audacity to parent a child that is not the same race as me? did i have bad breath??? i could drive myself crazy trying to figure it out....although next time i will bring breath mints just in case...lol but we have also had touching moments at the children's hospital with parents of all races. its just too bad that it takes serious illness in our children to make communication and bonding easier. what can we do to change it???

One thing I do know. Everyone of our children has progressed physically and emotionally since belonging to our family. They know they are loved and we immensely enjoy their love in return and seeing them blossom. No, this is not giving myself kudos. It's just being a mom...being proud of seeing her kids develop and grow to the best of their ability.

kung fu kindergartener?

2008-09-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

so i am going about my day being thankful that i can breathe, swallow, and sit without pain (see previous posts below) and all of a sudden i get a call. the call you really dread....it was the principal... he's a nice older fellow...kind of reminds me of mr. mcgoo..... anyhow... he frantically describes how my child (who shall remain nameless) called another student stupid (something we DO NOT allow) and then would not apologize and then proceeded to do some form of "kung fu" toward the student, then the teacher trying to stop this spontaneous display of martial arts, and then THE PRINCIPAL!! ....yikes.... said child would not take their medication last night for hubby when i was at work which actually helps the following day in school...and it showed...terribly... so ryan had to go pick up the kung fu panda at school and then the little cherub sat for a long, long, time on the couch contemplating why it is very wrong to call a friend stupid and do kung fu at school....

help abby

2008-09-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Please Help Abby's Family

PLEASE HELP ABBY'S FAMILY!!Does everyone follow the Riggs family blog? If you are not familiar with this amazing family.... check out their blog.
They are a diverse family and full of love. They have 4 biological children, 2 children from Guatemala, and a beautiful daughter from Ethiopia.
One of their Guatemalan children, Abby, was recently diagnosed with Leukemia. Bless her little heart. She is precious!
Abby has some pretty intensive chemo treatments 1-4 times per week for the next 5 MONTHS.... This means lots of time at the hospital, lots of time needing to be spent helping Abby.... a lot less time for making meals and cleaning houses, etc...You can read more about what is going on at the Rigg's blog.
So many of us who do not live in the area have wanted to help but haven't known what we could do. WELL HERE WE GO!
We are trying to put together meal plans to serve this family during this difficult time to relieve some of the stress. We want these precious parents to be able to focus on their children as much as possible. Let's help them do that!
If you are interested in sending or giving money for meals, that is welcomed. Either contact Amy to send the payment, or pay via paypal. (Directions on how to do this below)
A few ladies in OKC area are going to be making frozen meals at Supper Thyme to give to the family. (One meal to serve 7 is approximately $25) If you live local and are interested in delivering a frozen or refrigerated meal to them at the hospital, either message Amy at amyde63@hotmail.com or leave a comment at her blog.
Directions to give via paypal: Once you are logged into your account, click Send Money. In the "To" box, type in my email address - amyde63@hotmail.com Type in the amount, and then click services/other, and then click continue. Wah lah.
Would you also consider posting this on your blog to help us spread the word??? THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is what we are supposed to be for one another.... let's stop long enough to care.

my butt hurts

2008-09-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

nothing like getting a shot in the patooty (sp?) from your coworker..... hoping the Rocephin does the trick...ive been in bed for 2 days (besides going to the dr. where i work) and i have to work 12 hours tomorrow=( here's hoping for an antibiotic miracle!! at least i will have plenty of empathy for my patients right?? healthcare is the worst about expecting employees to show up whether they are sick or not..... gotta have a paycheck.....so i guess im going!

benadryl fog

2008-09-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

big thanks to my cousin amber who watched our kiddos last night. its our 16th anniversary!! too bad i spent it in a benadryl fog!! i have had this sinus stuff for over a week and i believe its turned in to something a bit more nasty (strep throat)......so romantic ....lol

so we stayed home and i slept most of the time, but we did watch a movie .....woo hoo! so exciting i know!

i guess its good i requested these days off so i didnt have to call in sick and we already had a babysitter lined up so i was able to rest. we had to take a raincheck on our "fancy" anniversary getaway.

holy mother of panic attacks batman!

2008-09-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

we had a HUGE scare last night. i got nilam up to go to the bathroom last night and she was very sweaty so i was helping her get her shirt off and noticed a large hard mass on the left side of her chest over where her heart would be. considering we have never noticed this before and she has had open heart surgery as a young child sent me over the edge. after calling 911 and finding out all their ambulances were out we rushed to the hospital (after i explained to the "nice" (read sarcastic and snotty) police officer "what my emergency is" and why i was speeding.
they did an xray....heart and lungs look fine as well as ribs. there had been no trauma, no falls etc. no fever to indicate infection. its a mystery. we spoke with her cardiologist and she feels confident it is not her heart. one doc thought it could have something to do with her rapid growth spurts. we will be doing further testing. will keep everyone posted. geesh, longing for the days when i was reaching for a subject to post about. i like boring. boring and status quo is goooooooood.

6 AND A 1/2 INCHES! GO NILAM!

2008-09-02T20:36:00.000-07:00

that is how much nilam has grown in 16 months! six and a half....wow... we are so amazed. also she is reading and spelling....WELL!! although she does have anxiety about tests and being put on the spot. we are working on that. we love you nilam and we are so proud!

To All Parents of Children with special needs..adopted or biological

2008-08-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

He sees our love, He feels our struggle, He has experienced our fear of loss and our hope for the future. He knows what is like to see a child slipping away....and the bliss of recovery....He loves us despite the pile of medical bills that we are chipping away at as much as we possibly can...... LOOK UP, LOOK TO HIM, CRY TO HIM.....HE HOLDS US IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND. it is hard, excruciating some days.....He is there all the time. good and bad. Father thank you for never leaving or forsaking us .....even when we are angry, sad, hurt, hopeless....you are there.

ok, i am a total goofball

2008-08-25T20:07:00.000-07:00

yes, its true. it took me a while to be ok enough with this incident to even post it but i am able to laugh at my goofballness now and the girls skin is back to normal....

here goes, i was running around target like a mad woman with 4 children's school supply list, the 4 children whom the list belong to, their baby sister and their 'ive had enough shopping for two lifetimes' daddy. i had just got everything on the lists and tried on all the clothes and we were headed to the checkout counter when i saw a HUGE bottle of shea butter lotion by oil of olay. im thinking "COOL, SHEA BUTTER IS GREAT STUFF!" and hurriedly throw it in the cart.

fast forward to next day, everyone has had their bath and i smother them with said shea butter lotion and they get dressed once its rubbed in. the big kids go to school and josie is home with me. that evening i go to work. next morning a repeat of the previous and so on...

as the week wears on i notice that everyone's skin is getting VERY VERY DRY! oops, better slather on extra shea butter....

the next day even drier!!! everyone was looking terrible! gee, this shea butter stuff is not what its cracked up to be.... and then i see it in teeny tiny letters at the very bottom of the huge bottle....... body wash....... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! i had been rubbing body wash on my kids!!!!! it said olay ultra moisture at the top in HUGE letters, i swear!! i beat my self up over that one for a good long time...... now that everyone is thoroughly hydrated and moisturized.....and making fun of mama...(even though no one else noticed the tiny writing at the bottom either..) i can laugh.....and im making myself an eye appointment!

HELP A HERO TO KIDS WITH DOWN SYNDROME=)

2008-08-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

I know someone who could use...
A new laptop! And no, it's not me :)5 minutes for mom is giving away a laptop and printer to one deserving person. And I have one to nominate.The rules say to leave names and financial situations out of our post, but it also says it needs to be someone that really needs it. So I'll gladly do that. I think many of you will readily agree with my nomination as well, and if you do, head over HERE and leave them a comment to let them know that you agree with this person as a nominee! HURRY, they stop taking nominations and comments on August 27th.Ok, on to my nomination. This person works from home approximately 70 hours a week. WITHOUT PAY. Every bit of that is on her computer and no, she doesn't have a laptop. In fact, she doesn't even have a sound card for her computer, and in her work it would often be helpful. She is the founder and director which ministry that works to find families for children with Down syndrome around the globe. She works long hours with families to find the right child for them, but it doesn't stop there. She walks with them through the process and is with them every step of the way to help with their paperwork, travel plans, communication with the other country officials, and is cheering them on and available while overseas as well.This person means more than just an organization to me... she means 2 of my children came home. I e-mailed her a year ago and this past 12 months I've spoken with her or e-mailed her almost every day. I've cried with her over deaths of kids overseas and over things with her own kids, family, life, and mine. She's an inspiration in that she carries so much for so many people- over 90 children are home in just 2 years and another 100 are still waiting... and new kids are being added to the database every week.What will a new laptop and printer mean for this person? First off, mobility. She has two sons, one with special needs, and the ability to sit on the couch and work or to go to where they are would be helpful in integrating ministry and family. Did I mention that one of her sons has Down syndrome? Yes, and keeping a close eye out is often a necessity. Also, her current computer doesn't have a working sound card, so seeing the videos of the kids once they're home she just has to imagine what they sound like with their sweet tiny voices talking through the silence. More than that, though, she doesn't have the ability to make internet-based phone calls such as Skype or Yahoo Talk to communicate with traveling families. A sound card would take the ministry to a new level of communication.Also, her current computer is failing which makes it difficult for her to update the website regularly without errors and to keep up with all the happenings of the many families in the process of adopting. A new laptop would make a world of difference for this mom that gives so much of herself!If you agree with my nomination, please hop over to http://www.5minutesformom.com/4033/blogs-can-change-lives/ and leave a comment agreeing to award this person a laptop! It's listed as "Meredith" on the Mr. Linky list. (ETA: it was #46 but apparently that # keeps changing as people can delete their nomination)!!Also, feel free to copy/past this to your own blog or link back to this post to help spread the word!
Posted by Meredith at 8/22/2008 10:12:00 PM

better now

2008-08-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

im better now. that last post was after a really rough day. sorry for the whining! we got to go to my friends house today and ride her horse and the kids rode her little donkey too!! it was so much fun! very relaxing. the perfect balance to having a stressful job and a sometimes stressful home life. thank you Lord for horses. they are so beautiful!

THE REST OF THE WORLD IS THE PROBLEM

2008-08-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

having 5 children, some with special needs, is a cake walk next to dealing with the rest of the world. insurance companies wanting to deny things that anyone with common sense would know they should pay, rude people from places calling to gripe at you because your insurance isnt paying, spending two, yes two, hours on the phone trying to get it straightened out, just to be put on hold and passed on to someone else who didnt know what they were talking about and told to call this number and then that person tells you to call another number which happens to be the first number you called and told you to call this number...... ay carumba! lets just say i ended up in tears speaking probably a little bit to loudly in a voice that kept creciendoing up and up stating that all im trying to do is take care of my daughter that is medically fragile and that ive been trying to straighten this insurance stuff out for months (in two hour increments on the phone at a time) that we nearly lost her several times, not to mention the financial stress of all the medical bills. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ok, got that out. whats important is that she is ok. she is currently stable and happy getting the treatment she needs..... the rest of the world will just have to deal!

BACK TO SCHOOL!

2008-08-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

i had all kinds of noble plans for today when the kids got back to school, but so far none have come to fruition!

i've accomplished:getting everyone fed and on the bus

drinking coffee

feeding, changing, and holding josie

and thats about it!

what i need to do:

organize kids rooms

pick green beans

work on mt. washmore (flylady talk for a big pile of laundry)

i feel pretty tired from working 6 days in a row last week and then doing school shopping for 4 kids yesterday on my "day off" school shopping with 5 kids and a shopping reluctant husband was interesting to say the least!! although i'm happy to announce everyone looked shiny and new this morning and had everything they needed..... go us! =)

josie and her zippie tilt in space

2008-08-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

my new friend....

2008-08-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

FLY lady. she is going to help me lose my CHAOS (cant have anyone over syndrome) so far...i have a very shiny sink.....but it is only day three. im told to trust the process and the new routines that i will learn will help me never have MT. WASHMORE again and to FLY (finally love yourself) sounds a little hokey, i know, but its just crazy enough to work. check out the FLY lady at www.flylady.net if you need some help organizing your chaos! i'll let you know how it works....=)

tomorrow is the day

2008-08-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

i was excited when we ordered. thought it was so cool to have her name embroidered on it. knew she was getting way too big for her stroller and WAY too heavy to carry, but tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks. josie is not going to walk....ever. i guess deep down i was still hoping for a miracle, because we had been told that anya and aiden may never walk independantly either. we worked soooo hard on therapy and now they both do! and we hoped this for our little liberian angel as well but i dont think it is to be. we love her just the way she is, but i guess we just have to go through a grieving phase. i am just glad she is still with us to share her beautiful smile. i just lost it a little at the end of my shift tonight. and now i just feel a little drained... but tomorrow her chair is coming and im sure she will love sitting up in it. i love how sweet and happy you are josie. you light up my day.

clarification

2008-07-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

i was looking at old posts and saw that josie had laughed before shortly after we came home. i had forgotten about that. sadly after we had started seizure meds we didnt hear that laugh for a long time. we are happy to hear it again......

have an overbearing family member??

2008-07-15T18:33:00.000-07:00

i do. i would love to write a total venting post, but since my blog is not in cognito i cant vent out.

ok, maybe i'll try to do it on the down low.....

or maybe i'll just try to be productive and make a list of things i dont want to do like other family members and use the overbearing family member as a prototype of what not to be like...

maybe i will just growl hear online so i wont do it real life when i see this person... ok here goes...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grrr grrrr grrrrr

ok, i am better now.... sort of..

4-H fun

2008-07-15T09:42:00.001-07:00

the kids have been busy with 4-H. Nilam and Anya were in the Little Miss Contest last night and both girls made us so proud. we are generally not pageant type people but when grandma asked the girls if they wanted to be in the pageant they had an overwhelming YES!!! i was a reluctant mama, but it turned out to be a positive experience. anya has speech problems, so i cringed when she had to do her speaking part. afraid she wouldnt be understood, or laughed at, and then be crushed. none of those things happened. she spoke slowly and intelligebly. no one laughed. she smiled and waved and was proud of her self. her question was, what is your favorite candy? and her answer was "bubble gum, because i dont swallow it anymore!" nilam's question was "what's your favorite tv show?' and her answer was "dora, because i like it!" she did well. she did not freeze up, she smiled waved, and spoke clearly. her only faux pas was swinging her flower like a sword at the girl next to her.....my delicate flower of a girl...lol anya got a trophy for being the "director's choice" this means she listened well and encouraged other girls and was helpful to others. this means more than being a beauty queen to me. nilam asked why she didnt get a trophy, so we were sad for her, but she has handled it very well. the emcee spoke of her journey to health and her heart surgery in india and the crowd was in love with her! we are very proud of our girls. pictures will come later.

isaiah got 6 grand champion ribbons on his projects so far and the animals havent been judged yet. we had a heck of a time getting his pig loaded. that guy just about got the best of us. eek.....

impact on siblings

2008-07-11T22:24:00.000-07:00

in january of 2007 aiden had heel cord surgery and after recovery for several months he started walking at the age of 4. this is HUGE for aiden. he has spastic diplegia cerebral palsy. the first moment we met him at the age of 28 month, his legs they felt like wood. they did not bend. when he crawled, his legs dragged behind him. i could not put him on my hip because his legs did not spread apart that far. it was difficult to even diaper him.

he has come soooo far, but this past year has been hard on him. he was the baby and the center of our rehabilitative attention before nilam and josie came home. he was doing sooooo well and we felt he would continue too. which he has, but emotionally it has been hard for him when josie was having all of her hospitalizations and nilam was going through some things. he has started to settle but now that the girls are settled and stable (for the moment anyway) we are refocusing on aiden to make sure that we are doing everything we can for him to help him develop to his fullest. he is so smart, but at times gets so frustrated because his body wont do what he wants it to. he had a pt and ot eval yesterday and will be going to weekly, possibly bi weekly sessions. please say a prayer that emotionally he will be tolerant of them. he did great for the ot eval but by time for the pt he was done...D. O. N. E. and was trying to backwards headbutt the therapist.....yeah...... we have done all of his therapy at home (along with first steps giving us a home program) so this is a little different, but as i said, we just want to make sure we have done everything we can to help him. please pray for me too, as i am not too good at letting go of the reigns when it comes to my children.....

josie's laugh

2008-07-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

josie laughed for the first time yesterday!!! isaiah was playing with her and tickled her a bit and she laughed out loud! it sounded so cute. her new medicine bicitra seems to be helping her a lot.

GETTING REAL.... this one's for you leslie

2008-07-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

my friend leslie sent a link to her friend who had a post about getting real.... not sugarcoating our lives and being ourselves on our blogs. basically so other dont feel inferior when they see pure perfection which is actually fallacy..... although im sure my posts dont portray perfection.... i do tend to post the positive.... and i post pictures that make me look ....um....less full figured, shall we say, than others

so here goes...my dose of reality
1. even though i have 5 kids i long for more... to adopt and biological
2. sometimes (more often than not) i feel deep despair for at-risk children without families. especially those with disabilities. it causes me deep excruciating pain.
3. i am the child of alcoholics. i had a painful childhood and long to stop the pain for other kids.
4. i have a pile of clean laundry that is taller than one of my children.....ugh.....i should be folding instead of blogging
5. i feel deep frustration when i start to fold said pile of clean clothes and get distracted and the clothes that i have folded somehow get unfolded and strewn about by small children that like to repeat the word "mom" multiple times in a row and increasing decibels concurrently
6. i feel guilty when repeated shoutings of "mom, hey mom! mooooooommmmmmy!" get on my nerves
7. i use paper plates....not so green
8. i have been to the maximum level of stress this past year doing two adoptions at the same time. both had heart wrenching surprises. it has affected me. they both are little miracles, but i really have been to the depth of exhaustion some days. although this is getting a lot better. truly.
9. i like nirvana and the grateful dead
10. my husband and i have to remind ourselves that we are not just co-parents.....we are eachothers loves.....exhaustion is not so conducive to this =)
11. i have to remind myself that its ok to not be perfect and that God really does love me just for me as i am. really...he does. even if i dont lose 20lbs, even if my house isnt imaculate and perfectly organized, etc. etc.
12. i can not do it on my own.... i need Him.....

Child Trauma

2008-06-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

i have been immersing myself in reading about children who have been through trauma and/or abuse and the effects that it has on them and what to do about it. when children have gone through severe and constant abuse and/or neglect it has a profound effect on the nervous system of the child. even when the child is safe and away from the previously stressful environment stress hormones stay high, ready for the next trauma. the child becomes hypervigilant-looking for danger and fails to pay attention to things that it needs to. like eating, homework, and such. this can be a flip-flop from when the child is being traumatized because sometimes the stress hormone cortisol makes the child hungry and want to eat all the time but there may be no growth due to everything just passing through and not absorbing. the child is in fight or flight mode. the symptoms traumatized children have looks a lot like ADHD, but in actuality its PTSD. they can be agressive, depressed, and/or hyper. a loving, consistent environment and medication help from medicines like strattera and clonidine can be very beneficial. therapy is absolutely beneficial with the right therapist.

it is so not an easy road to follow. i have been blessed in this life to have loved and been touched by two very special kids who have been through significant trauma. one is still with me and the other was our foster child for a short time, but my heart is still with him.

the best way to combat child abuse is prevention.

if you are stressed put your child in a safe place and walk away to cool off.
if someone you know is stressed, give them a break. watch their children so they can rest or run errands.
if you need help please ask for it.
dont abuse alcohol or drugs. you may do something you regret when your sober.
if you know of a child thats being mistreated or neglected.... please report it.

pickin' peaches

2008-06-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

the kids and the "fruits of their labor"

sleeping babies

2008-06-26T18:41:00.000-07:00

i love this picture!

on a different note, i was re-reading

my post from a couple of days ago. it was pretty harsh. i was severely sleep deprived from multiple doctors appts with different kids that happened to be 100's of miles apart two days in a row. i do want to educate people, but it really stung to have someone talk about josie probably not living very long as cavalierly as they would the weather. she's my life and love....she's my daughter.

beautiful boy

2008-06-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

my aiden

growing girls....and other statements of a venting nature

2008-06-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

another inch and 3/4. that's how much nilam has grown in one months time. she was complaining a lot about leg pain...now we know why! this makes her grand total of growth from 36 1/2 inches when she came to 41 and 3/4 inches today!! it is truly amazing. her heart looks great. she had open heart surgery to repair a VSD with severe pulmonary hypertension when she was 10 mos. old in India so we have to keep an eye on it with a yearly check up. she is very active, so we wanted to make sure her heart was up to the task of keeping up with her body!

josie has had several inches of growth also! she is now on a feeding pump for her tube feedings. today was the first day. it does free up mom and dad's hands so we can keep an eye on the other little guys and its easier on her because her tummy only has to hold a little bit at a time (less spitting up/vomiting)

here is my dumb quote of the week made by a nurse, of all people, who seem to not have a clue about much of anything:

nurse: "soooooo how did you get her?"

me: "umm, we adopted her"

nurse: "ohhhhhhh, yeah"

nurse: (when taking josie's catheter out and seeing some brown on her diaper from where i had put lotion on her and her skin cells rubbed off) *look of dismay*

me: "thats just where i put lotion on her. thats normal for that to do that"

nurse: "oh yeah, i heard 'they' shed"

me: (looking at her like she's an idiot) "umm, we all shed skin cells, its just that ours are white so we don't see them on white things"

nurse: "ohhh, her feet are swollen"

me: "yes shes got kidney problems that cause her feet to swell some times"

nurse: "ohhhhh, so she's probably not going to live very long"

me: (by this time im ready to beat my head against a concrete wall and not quite sure whether to try to educate her on how forward and rude that statement was to a parent about their child or bang her head against the concrete wall)....j/k im actually anti violence....sort of...

i figured it was time to get the heck out of dodge before i went postal on this woman. (lack of sleep will do that to you) and now i will pray for her to learn compassion and sensitivity and to treat people with disabilities as people and not objects.....and i will pray for myself to have mercy on people who are ignorant.

say a prayer for emmanuel

2008-06-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

this is a quote from a fellow adoptive parent's blog. her son has a severe, life threatening heart defect that he has to have surgery to try to correct. make-a-wish foundation has granted emmanuel's wish to fly his liberian dad and brother to come see him before and during and after his surgery. please say a prayer for this special boy and his parents who live in liberia and america. to read more about emmanuel go to

http://internationalmommy.blogspot.com

Pirate piggies!!

2008-06-17T09:53:00.001-07:00

the kids call these pirate piggies (off of dora and the pirate pigs for those of you who dont live in the land of "backpack backpack" unfortunately the "pirate piggies" are going
"to market" after the 4-H fair. the kids arent quite sure what "going to market"

means and we're not sure how to tell them. i do know we werent so good at eating our homegrown chickens...... sustinence farming is a fine art and we are still on the learning curve!

Nuni and babies

2008-06-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

first babies born on our farm (since we've been here anyway) and our first set of twins. they were born yesterday june 16th.

we are grandparents!

introducing Nina and her babies

2008-06-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

born today june 17th.=)

have you ever.....

2008-06-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

been doing a tube feeding/med administration/catheter empty/ diaper change session with one 4 year old while a teenager is complaining about the other 4 year old getting into his stuff and the 4 year old is complaining that the teenager wouldnt let him watch barney and the 6 and 7 year olds are competing for who gets to sit on your lap while your wondering if the baby goats outside in the barn are ok and if your underwear that are in the dryer are going to be dry in time for you to go to work so you can pay the stack of bills on your counter??? ....... yup thats the kinda day i was having yesterday...=)

oops!

2008-06-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

a word to the wise... if you have 4 milkshakes in a drink carrier and pass three of the out to various small children and leave one in the carrier and then turn a sharp corner said milkshake will rapidly overturn onto your newly clean van in a large, semi-liquid pile of stickiness eliciting a shriek from the driver and numerous "what's wrong???" from kiddos in the back....

never fear.....two kiddos shared their milkshake (mine was already gone..lol) and gave the last remaining milkshake that was individually riding in my drink holder to daddy that was waiting at home with Josie for his Father's day milkshake.

Happy Father's Day Ryan....I Love you!

a verse my friend shared

2008-06-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless.
Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them.
You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed,
So mere people can no longer terrify them.
Psalm 10:17-18

"SATYAMEVA JAYETE" ~ "TRUTH ALONE TRIUMPHS"

2008-06-10T20:45:00.000-07:00

"satyameva jayate"~" truth alone triumphs" that is India's motto and very fitting for situations we are going through. really, truth is all we want.

an answer, but not the one we had hoped for

2008-06-09T15:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.mamashealth.com/kidney/rta.asp

this page explains very well what josie has just been diagnosed with. it is called distal renal tubular acidosis. her form is genetic. she is at risk for deafness, which we are suspicious of, and we will be visiting an audiogist next week.

this diagnosis explains her severe developmental delay, kidney stones, severe rickets with bone fractures. because it has gone untreated for so long before we had her and before her diagnosis josie is at risk for renal failure, cardiac arrythmia and death.

please say a prayer for our girl.

Go Indiana!!!!! Go India!!!!!

2008-05-31T07:29:00.000-07:00

Sameer Mishra of West LaFayette, Indiana holds up his winning trophy in the 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee at the Grand Hyatt Washington Hotel Friday, May 30th, in Washington, D. C.

we thought it was cool that he is from Indiana like us! and he appears to be of Indian descent like our Nilam!

also of note, this was the first year that someone from South Korea participated. Even though its a U.S. national spelling bee they allow participants from other countries come as long as their is an English newspaper in their area that will sponsor their local spelling bee.

end of school fun!!

2008-05-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

nilam got her

kindergarten

diploma

anya made a

beautiful

blue bird in

her life skills

class

aiden

graduated

from preschool!!

pictures of big brother

to come. he is busy with 4-H projects and

clubs today.

look what mama did!

2008-05-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

not to shabby if i say so myself....

ok to you more advanced hair-do people quit laughing at me....lol i am slowly learning.

Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary!

2008-05-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

an amazing thing

2008-05-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

a year ago a little girl dropped into our lives. a lovely, beautiful, girl with the biggest dark eyes and lovely long curly hair you have ever seen. our nilam. nilam was born in india. i have to admit there are times i feel a bit lacking in my knowledge of india. there is not a big indian population in southern indiana and i didnt know any other families personally that had adopted from india. nilam was very very glad when josie came home from africa and there was someone else in our family that had brown skin like her! but still we wanted her to learn of india and be proud. we have read books, looked online, kept connections with people who care for nilam, but i also prayed for an indian connection for nilam. i have met a wonderful lady online who has adopted from india and, turns out, knows a family that met nilam in india!! she is hooking us up!! i am so excited!! nilam was very excited to see pictures of my new friends little girl online. she gets so excited when she sees her. i cant wait to "introduce" her to the friends that held and played with her as a toddler at her orphanage BSSK in india. God is good.

A MUST READ

2008-05-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

http://afostermamaslife.blogspot.com/

oh my, you have to check out this blog. this is the most hilarious, down to earth, tells it like it is blog i have ever read. she is a former foster parent who has funny, but sometimes heart wrenching story to tell. its an important one. and its true. check it out from the beginning. you wont be sorry!

adventure boys!!!!!!!!

2008-05-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

our sun princess=)

2008-05-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

helping daddy and papaw build our piggy pen

2008-05-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

getting ready for 4-h projects

pretty happy josie

2008-05-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

check out how long her legs are stretched out in her braces!

no front teeth!!

2008-05-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

nilam has lost 5 teeth so far! she looks so cute!

happy late Easter!

2008-05-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

a long winter

2008-04-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

its been a long hard winter. two adoptions within 3 months of eachother and dealing with major physical and/or emotional issues in both was one of the most drag me down to my knees, have to rely on God or Im not going to make it times of my life that i have experienced. but that makes this spring all the sweeter. both girls are doing so much better and we can see the fruits of our labor. we welcome the sunshine literally and figuratively.

my goal is to now go through our home and simplify. removing what we do not need. organization got bumped way down on the list of priorities this year.

im really thankful for my husband and my children. im blessed.

happy spring my friends,rachel

FINAL!!

2008-04-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

JOSEPHINE CHEA

2008-04-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

our little girl has been doing very well. her phenobarbitol seems to be controlling her seizures very very well. She still has trouble with some stiffness and clonus from her cp but it is much better than before. she has had no more biting of her fingers. she did this severely when she had a seizure and happened to have her hand in her mouth. she has had no hospitalizations since january!!

josephine's adoption is being finalized tomorrow! im so full of emotion. there were days i did not know if she would live to see finalization.

we are honored to be this sweet little one's family.

our little josie bean!

2008-03-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

beautiful smile

beautiful girl

a loving spirit

to brighten this world

we love you so deeply

here by our side

your africa mama

always in our mind

she loves you too

wants the best for you

doctors to treat

and bring you health

love means more

than all this worlds wealth

we are doing our best

to live up to her hopes

of comfort for you

so you can let your light show.

to teach others that

life is not just about ability

its about love, compassion

and unselfish giving. accepting others

for who they are

and to see their gifts

and their true worth.

thank you Jesus for saving her life

we are forever grateful

for her beautiful light.

guess what?.

2008-02-28T12:51:00.000-08:00

nilam was measured today and has grown 3 inches since her first dr. appt!

50'S DAY AT SCHOOL=)

2008-02-25T19:55:00.000-08:00

NILAM'S GRANDMA MADE HER POODLE SKIRT

HAPPY SEVENTH BIRTHDAY NILAM LEAH!!!!!!!!

2008-02-25T18:46:00.000-08:00

BIG CAKE FOR A BIG GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

OUR TOPSY TURVY GIRL!

2008-02-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

the little girl, who when she first came, would stand at the window and watch the others jump on the trampoline with a sad face and cry when we would put her on it with the other kids, can now do a full fledge up in midair front flip and LOVES it! you go girl!

Letter to my daughter

2008-01-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

I'll hold you when painful memories come alive from the past
I'll stroke your hair when fear takes hold and assure that it wont last
You are no longer alone in this world. I pray that you can see
Your are so precious to our God and so important to me
So thankful that loving people showed mercy along the way
Graceful and kind and even though busy they took the time to say
You are beautiful and smart and we believe in you!
Keep trying and you will succeed in all you try to do
Keep growing sweet little one and let your beauty shine
I'm so thankful to My Lord......I'm priveleged to say you're mine.

HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY ANYA MAE YOUN SOO!!

2008-01-25T17:29:00.000-08:00